Then go to Lourde’s and partake in indulgences; its the magic cure for everything. And Pope Benny is fully behind the indulgence getting folks out of purgatory, so if you are betweeen a rock and a hard place in this life, it should be all the more simple methinks!
I knew a few years ago a woman who went to Lourde’s. She was a wheelchair user. If we went anywhere, that didn’t have disabled toilets, she would crawl on her belly to get to the toilet and make a right exhibition of herself, but it sure got her noticed, (which was no doubt the point.) She went to Lourde’s like a good little catholic, and came back still in her wheelchair. She was the kind of woman who you awlays felt was swinging the leg, and her claim to being as severely disabled as she professed, didn’t really fool me, and annoyed many others at the disabled club we both belonged to. I was walking about as I always had done in those days, it was maybe seven years ago. But around eighteen months after she came back from her pilgrimage to Lourde’s she had an epileptic seizure. She came around, confused, and not really aware of where she was or what she was doing, and immediatly got up, on her feet, (remember the crawling to the toilet) and exited out of the club building and took off down the road on foot, so far and so fast, that the rest of us, had to get in cars and go after her, as it was impossible to catch her on foot even for those who were pefectly able-bodies. Was this a Lourde’s phenomena? Or was it a good little catholic girl, who faked her disability to gain attention, and be waited on hand and foot? Well all I can say is after the seizure event, the next time we saw her she was back in her wheelchair and still crawling to the toilet on her belly if it was not accessible, to make sure she caught everyones attention.
But as for Lourd’s and purgatory, the clearest evidence against this heresy, is when the beggar Lazarus dies. I don’t profess to be a theological genius, (tho the name my adversary (side-bar link) gave to me of "the know all of the world wide web quite appeals to me!") but I would think you would need to be a theolgical luddite to believe purgagory yet alone teach it, in light of these verses:
22And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
23And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
24And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
25But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
26And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence. [Luke 16]
Rock on Benny!
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