What is your immediate response if anyone asks you if you are harbouring any grudges, resentments, unforgiveness towards any one in your life past or present? Unforgiveness being the seed and root of bitterness? I’ve yet to hear even one person admit they may be or are bitter. It’s a thing almost all of us would shy away from admitting. Especially if Christians. Yet, it seems the prevailing trend amongst Christendom that you will go a long, long way, to find a Bible believing Christian who is not harbouring unforgivness; statistics suggest up to ninety five per cent of us are doing so. Yet would we admit it? Or would we even be aware of it always if we are? Hurts, and wounds, when caused by the sins of others, fester; and we may push them down and down, deep inside of us, so that we do not even think about it any longer. It’s part of our natural make up to do so. If anyone asks us if we are bitter or holding unforgiveness we will say no, truly believing that to be the case, and yet its a self-deception in the overwhelming number of cases. Because most of us are.
The wound that will not heal and still hurts; that can wreck you emotionally. The person who caused it making you see red, or not being able to think about them without anger or resentment, or not being able to talk about them and say even one thing in their favour that is not negative and filled with the bitterness of the hurt we feel.
The sin was theirs that caused the hurt, yet the same as anything in life, our response to that hurt is our responsibility. Unforgiveness lives in many of us, tho we will not know, or won’t admit to it. Yet its a fact of life that life hurts, and we do not go through life without many people trampling all over our hearts and seeming to break them into little fragments by the hurt we feel.
The Bible is full of verses about unforgiveness. One of the most notable is the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18. When he was forgiven such a huge debt by the king, yet refused to release a much lesser debt from someone who owed him and exacted payment, he was thrown into jail to be tormented. And how many of us who live with unforgiveness do not feel that torment, and the sseds of bitterness that comes from the hurt, and the way we have remained locked in unforgiveness become our jailors as much as those who tormented and jailed the unforgiving servant.
We become prisoners of our minds; our own emotions. Life becomes an emotional roller coaster. If the hurt is not up front and personal and you have an otherwise, full and busy life, you may be able to go many days or weeks without feeling the seeds of hurt and bitterness that comes from the act or sin that was done against you to hurt and wound you.
Someone famous in modern times, an athlete I believe, described harbouring unforgiveness as “Like drinking poison, hoping someone else would die.” Note that its us who drinks the poison tho, and its us who will die, in one way or another or maybe a little of a thousand deaths every day. We stand every chance of being in a prison tormented and locked up, until we start to remove these seeds and move on, with the unforgiveness dealt with in our hearts in a Biblical manner. The affect of not doing so, is to perhaps kill our souls little by little every day. We are drinking our own posion of unforgiviness, and snuffing out all spiritual life and perhaps our ability to commune with God, and we may question if we have been really forgiven ourselves because we do not experience it in any spiritual fullness. So, the sin or acts that were done against us, that caused us so much hurt and grief, and can still drag us to the floor in a snivelling wrecked heap, have to be sifted out and dealt with and purified rather than it continuing to poison us.
It is a hard thing to either admit or sometimes even be aware we are harbouring unforgiveness and have the seeds of bitterness sown in our hearts. So my question is, are you really, really sure, you are not harbouring resentment, or unforgiveness and thefore bitterness against someone for some hurt or wound or devastation. And if you can’t honestly answer no, after time thinking about this, remembering that none of us go through life being unhurt and wounded by it and people. Then perhaps it maybe a reason to ask God for the grace to be able to forgive. And to stop administering the cup of poison to ourselves, with no profit from it, and only harm and the way that leads to death in some ways. You can’t change the consequences of other people’s sin to us, or the harm we have been done. We can stop it still taking more from our lives than the original act or sin against us did. And bitterness in our hearts never doesn’t come exploding out at times, and infect and poison the things in life we treasure. Forgiveness not only gives us a proper avenue to go before God, it also, stops the acts of the past against us, continuing to take the good things from our lives in the present. And therefore it stops Satan having the victory. And there is nowhere more ripe for him to set up home, than an unforgiving heart.